Assessment for learning

You could do a masters in 3 years. Maybe I should suggest a Masters in' Mum' to the open university as many of the skills I have learnt are both useful and transferrable and may help forward my furture career path in numerous fields. Admittidly, some of the skills I have learnt have more limited uses.

New Skills Audit

1: Knowledge on how best to remove the smell of Fish Finger Vomit - solution involves bicarb and a new car playmat from Ikea £9.99- a bargain!
2: Ability to encourage son to fart on his fathers side of the bed not my own- solution involves much bribing.
3: Ability to get two sleeping tots and one push bike up the hill home with only a single push chair- solution involves cheating via use of kindly neighbour
4: Ability to remove challenging substances such as playdough, porridge and the surprisingly concrete dried banana from faces, clothes, flooring, furniture,curtains and so on.
5: Ability to still be awake after 45 mins of rocking and singing in the dark.
6: Ability to drive/work/teach/Mum on under 4hrs of sleep....just about......If Maggie can run the country on it I can darn well Mum. Will not be shown up...grit teeth....pin open eyes...drink more coffee.....
7: Awareness of all avaliable toileting spots in a 5 mile radius- could set up the Mum's version of 'The Knowledge'
8: Ability to seek out suitable toileting spot within 1 min time limit in unknown terrain.

Areas of development

1: Maintaining level of calm when trying to leave the house quickly on a cold and blustery day when faces by adverse factors of winging kids, unmatched gloves and missing shoes.
2:Maintaining calm when faced with two kids who point blank refuse to eat the nutritious and budget friendly meal lovingly prepared for them
3: Maintaining calm when tot will not share toys with friend despite insisting all week friend comes over.
4: Improving organisation to ensure there is enough bread on packed lunch day and not be the only unorganised mum making sandiches from Stop n Shop goods outside the school gates.
5: Ability not to get clocked by other mothers preparing lunch from Stop n Shop goods outside school gates.
6: Maintaining calm when yet again for no freaking reason the kids are awake and screaming from 12-4am...why oh why? Maybe this is some sort of final exam test.
7: Ability to reduce beautifying routine to leave house in satisfactory time without resulting look being 'bag lady chic'